#this truly is the episode ever. its so good. like the whole main plot is already so so fun and i love to see marge experiment jobs

[ardate]

save me realty bites save me

[mariana-oconnor]

Types of AO3 Summary

Option 1 - The Excerpt:

The quickest, the easiest! Find a section of your fic that contains the main premise of said fic and also showcases your writing. Copy paste that into the summary box. BOOM! Done.

Best used for any fic, unless it's so short the excerpt would be the whole fic.

Option 2 - The No Frills:

Just a description of the fic. No need for drama. No need to complicate matters. Keep it simple, keep it safe.

Example: "A short character exploration of Blorbo's thoughts after Daisy leaves."

Best used for short fics, poems and fics where the style/format is more important than the plot. Or fics that tie directly into a scene/episode from canon or another fanfic.

Option 3 - The Hook:

Draw the reader's interest by giving them a set up with no conclusion. Introduce the main character(s), introduce the status quo, describe an inciting incident, leave a question in the reader's mind.

Example: "Blorbo is a barista at a coffee shop, struggling to pay their bills, but after handsome rockstar Obrolb walks into their coffee shop they find that they have to decide whether a chance at love is worth the cost of fame."

Best used for mid to long fic where there's a strong premise and follow through. Especially good for AUs. Can be expanded for more complex plots or used multiple times in one summary for multiple characters or subplots.

Option 4 - The Sitcom One-Liner:

"The one in which [over simplified description of one of the main plotlines]" This is essentially 'boil your plot down to the very simplest statement you can, oversimplify if possible. The more bizarre or unhelpful the better.

Example: "The one in which Blorbo learns to like cake".

Best used for fics with at least a little humour in them.

Option 5 - The Rule of Three:

Three is a magic number. Find three key moments in your fic and just list them. That's it. Often ends with 'not necessarily in that order' if used for comic effect. If it's an AU, establish that quickly (i.e. 'Star NHL player Blorbo…').

Example: "Blorbo makes a friend, falls in love, and almost burns to death, not necessarily in that order."

Best used for anything, really. Three is a magic number. The human brain loves things that come in threes.

Option 6 - The Trope Lure:

Why bother describing the plot? We all know AO3 readers are here for the tropes. Similar to The Sitcom One-Liner just using tropes instead of plot. Often followed by the phrase 'that nobody asked for'.

Example: "The Space western / A/B/O / Mail Order Bride fic that nobody asked for."

Often tacked on to the end of The Hook or The Excerpt as a tl;dr.

Best used for fic that plays its tropes straight with no shame or second guessing.

Option 7 - The Pre-emptive Strike:

(Not recommended) You just wrote this fic, the self doubt is consuming you. You feel the need to apologise profusely for your existence for no apparently reason. You feel cringe, you think the fic is cringe, you want everyone to know that you think the fic is cringe in case they don't like it and judge you for it.

Example: "So I fell in love with this pairing and had to write this. It's weird and terrible. Lol! I suck at summaries! Sorry!"

Best used for no fics ever. I cannot stress this enough.

(Seriously, I am begging you, don't do this. If you're planning to use this option, rethink it and do one of the others. I guarantee you more people will want to read your fic.)

Sometimes added on to any other summary as a strange disclaimer. (srsly. don't.)

Option 8 - The Unapology:

Embrace the mayhem, embrace the deep dark depths of your soul. The opposite of The Pre-emptive Strike. A combination of The No Frills and The Trope Lure that truly gives no fucks.

You have committed crimes and you are proud of them. You know what your USP is and you're going to make sure your target market finds you. Look upon my works, ye readers, and despair!

Example: "There aren't enough tentacle fics in this pairing, so I had to write one myself!"

Best used for fics with controversial/polarising tropes with all relevant details already clearly stated in the tags.

Option 9 - The Interrogation:

What if you wrote a summary entirely in questions? What if your readers had to read the fic to discover the answers? Who knows what will happen if you do this?

Example: "What happens when Blorbo McBlorbo gets his wish and Daisy doesn't make it to the plane on time? What happens when Obrolb finds out? How will this change Daisy and Blorbo's friendship?"

Best used for... I honestly don't know. This style of summary does not vibe with me. Mystery fic maybe? Sorry guys.

Option 10 - The Multipack:

Got a bunch of shorter fics in one work? No way of summarising them all without a wall of text larger than the Great Wall of China? This one is similar to The No Frills in that you're not describing the plots themselves and similar to The Trope Lure in that often broader genres and tropes are mentioned. What links those fics? Are they all in the same fandom? The same pairing? The same challenge? Just slap that right in the summary. A chapter list with 1-2 word trope/pairing summaries can be included or not.

Example: "A collection of Blorbo/Daisy/Obrolb fics based on Tumblr prompts. Chapter 1: Regency AU Chapter 2: Werewolves vs vampires Chapter 3: Ghost!Daisy Chapter 4: Space pirates!"

Best used for (obviously) works that are compilations of fic.

Option ? - The Void:

I said The Excerpt was the quickest and easiest summary to do. I lied, well... I didn't exactly lie. What is quicker and easier than not having a summary at all? After all, that's what the tags are for.

Example:

Best used for... nothing? Write a summary, guys. Please?

[steveharrington]

major hornets nest moment here but i must speak my truth. its so fascinating to me how will byers was clearly written with the driving motivation and intention of making him a beloved fan favorite character and instead he falls so flat that, if you asked the average casual viewer of the show who doesn't engage in the fandom like, say, your coworker, the odds of him even being in their top five of favorite characters is pretty low.

will's disappearance kicks off the plot, singlehandedly. the first episode is literally called the vanishing of will byers. his name is shouted so much in the first season that most people would recognize the reference if you used the right cadence and desperation that winona ryder does. after not being featured much in season one, you'd think season two would've just like launched will/noah schnapp into stardom with how much more screentime he's given and how dramatic his plot is that season. but instead the fan favorites of season 2 were by and large el, hopper, dustin, steve, max, even bob who's barely there. that's not to say that there AREN'T will fans out there (and online i understand there are like entire armies dedicated to him/byler, but i'm talking about the average opinion of viewers as a whole, not just in fandom spaces) but think about all the stranger things merch you see in stores, the halloween costumes, the characters that appear in promotional materials when the show has partnerships with brands....will is so rarely featured. idk if any of yall ever got the chance to visit the stranger things pop up shop in any of its various locations, but there was such little mention of will in the stores theming or merchandise that it was almost funny. actually it WAS funny, to me, someone who does not care for him

i think the flop can be attributed to many things. one, noah schnapp is just not a very good actor and he doesn't have the same appeal in his performances that millie, sadie, caleb, gaten, priah, or finn do (although finn i've noticed is also kinda falling out of favor from majority audiences). one could argue that noah schnapp intentionally isn't given much to do, which is true and i'll circle back to that, but the decline in his acting between seasons 2 and 3 is truly a sight to behold. when he's not like tied up and screaming, he reallllllly struggles on the smaller scale performances compared to the other cast members his age. he doesn't really have the charm that gaten does or the humor that priah does or the depth that caleb does. (i don’t feel bad about saying this, btw, given noah schnapp’s behavior)

back to the vanishing of will byer's screen time. my beloved prettymuchit's eric striffler commented on how diminished will and mike's roles in the story have become in s4. "noah schnapp is below the grips on the call sheet" is my fav line, but he also makes an observation on finn's role that i think is soooo accurate. when mike and will are kneeling down next to the pizza dough freezer and watching el just kinda twitch while she fights vecna in her mind, eric and his co-host miles say "this is so embarrassing! finn's like, 'oh so gaten's fighting the monster? and i'm kneeling next to a tub at a pizza place? i used to be this show" and i think the same exact sentiment can be superimposed onto will

but i think this happened naturally, as the nature of the show is to shift its focus from character to character. not to mention the duffer brothers' obsession with tweaking their story to give audiences what they want. i've always held the belief that there isn't one main character of stranger things, rather a rotating circle of characters depending on the season you're watching. season one is mike, season two is hopper, season three is el, season four is max imo. again that's a little subjective and arguments could be made to swap those a little, but overall i think those characters stories and point of views take center stage during each of their respective seasons. by season 3, the duffers wanted to kick things up to a larger scale. the UD is no longer targeting just will, it's targeting the entire town. this works because a THIRD season in a row where this one kid specifically gets possessed would just be bonkers, so they kinda had to let him take a backseat. i'm not sure why they didn't let will be more involved in the mystery-solving portion of season 3....to this day that decision baffles me, but what's done is done and the will that everyone watched in season 3 literally just kinda follows everyone around and gets a small little slice of a plotline about wanting things to go back to normal, but alas

it like totally worked, though. though there are MANY complaints commonly made about season 3, i've never heard anyone offline complain that there wasn't enough will byers. i think the group in s3 that had the most success like, commercially, would be scoops troop and then a bit farther back i think most audiences enjoyed hopper/joyce/murray's dynamic. i think if there had been a huge outcry in the minimizing of will's role, the duffers would've backpedaled immediately. they aim to please. they can't even commit to killing of a main character out of fear that audiences will lose interest if we permanently lose hopper or max, so they just do some creative writing that allows them to milk the emotional consequence of those characters deaths without actually writing them off. if audiences on a large scale demanded that will be center stage, he would be. but they dont!

final point: i think will gets fucked over by the duffers obsession with romance. in season one, two of will's strongest dynamics are with his mom and brother. which like, yeah. theyre his immediately family and he is 12. but in seasons 2 and 3, jonathan spent all his screen time with nancy and from 2-4, joyce has spent all her screen time either with hopper or in the pursuit of finding hopper. these characters are written together as a package deal, typically. it was refreshing and unexpected to see jonathan get a whole season with a friend of his very own and his siblings, but they barely took advantage of that. jonathan and will get ummmm one (1) scene to talk about their emotions in a fucking 20 hour season. it's hard for will to be a main character when he rarely gets to interact with the people that make up the other half of his main dynamics.

as for byler, im of the belief that it will not be endgame because i just don't think they're going to break up mike and el at this point. i could be completely wrong and stand corrected, but im like 90% sure lol. i do think that will's s4 storyline resonated with a lot of people. even eric striffler! i think the issue is that the vastttt majority of people who watch this show above the age of like 15 do not feel invested about the romantic relationships between any of the kids. because why would they!!! theyre literally in middle school for 3/4 of the show. you would be hard pressed to find a vocal will stan online who doesn't also dedicate 90% of their engagement with the show to byler. which makes sense, because most if not all of will's scenes revolve around mike to some degree. but according to neilsen, the majority of stranger things audience is consistently in the 18-49 age range season by season. its more likely for adult audiences to identify with adults (or characters who are narratively treated like adults, like steve and nancy) than with any of the kids. esp when the kid in question, despite being written as the focal point of the show, has less relevant plotlines, less interaction with other characters, and an actor who just doesn't deliver on charm the way his fellow younger costars do

[three--rings]

You Should Watch The Spirealm/致命游戏

What is it?

A 2024 cdrama based on the danmei webnovel Kaleidoscope of Death. It's a censored version of a BL novel, with thriller, mystery, and horror aspects, 38 45-minute episodes.

What's it about?

A young man accidentally gets drawn into a virtual reality video game that involves passing tests in a series of doors. Once you start playing, you cannot stop and if you die in the game, you die in real life. He meets a frustratingly mysterious, competent, and attractive man in the doors who recruits him to be part of his game solving team. Well, specifically to be his partner. Lots of gay subtext ensues as they fight through door after door seeking to get to the final door in order to end the evils of the game. (The book is a little different, as it's more supernatural.)

So basically it's a infinite flow deadly game situation, with m/m romance.

Main Characters:

Lin Quishi/Ling Juishi (novel/drama versions of his name)- Our protagonist. A smart graduate in computer science, good at games. Well meaning but a little naive to start out.

Ruan Nanzhu/Ruan Lanzhu - Our love interest. In the novel he crossdresses often and he presents as a woman for the whole first arc. Super intelligent, expert at the game, extremely flirty but reserved at the same time. Got one look at Lin Quishi and said That One.

Other Characters, aka the Found Family:

Ruan Nanzhu's team consists of a pair of twin brothers (one young and dumb and one uptight), a hot doctor vet, a woman whose main job seems to be cooking dinner, and a not-so-stable dude.

Then there's Li Dong Yuan, a rival player who becomes reluctantly-tolerated friend, and his cute female assistant. And Tan Zao Zao, an actress who hires the team to help her in the games and also sticks around persistently.

They're pretty much all delightful and some may start off silly/annoying and end up breaking the hell out of your heart.

Okay, but what's the VIBE?

Big Guardian vibes. The team of lovable scamps investigating weird supernatural (?) type mysteries? While the boss and the guy he fell for have a situationship? Totally. This definitely has more of a horror feel than Guardian, though, even though they tone things down from the novel.

Each door is its own setting, and some are more scary than others. So one is a mental hospital, one is a traditional village, one is a gothic manor, etc. Lots of tragic female ghosts who have been wronged and are getting revenge. The one that really creeped me out was the one with the children with the eggs. It does a lot of creepy rather than really horror. It's not truly gory at all, as it was made to air on Chinese TV and they have strict limits to violence.

The camerawork and set decor is really nice, actually. It looks great most of the time and a lot of the effects seem to be practical. It looks a lot better than Guardian is what I'm saying, if not quite to a film level.

How Gay is It?

Oh MY GOD. Okay look, this show was NOT supposed to be released, but thank whoever put it up for that two hours. It's really incredibly blatant, like really as much as Word of Honor was, although because the plot is focused elsewhere it's maybe not quite as in your face. But the actors UNDERSTOOD THE ASSIGNMENT and there's so much longing and SO much implication. After a while, everyone basically just treats the main couple as a couple even thought it's never talked about.

I mean episode one there's Only One Bed and at the end of their first meeting Ruan Nanzhu gives Lin Quishi a RING. I mean, the flirting is also BLATANT. I also just find this a really romantic show, despite the Not Talking About It thing.

Is it a Happy Ending?

So, It's Complicated. I'm trying not to spoil anything and this show is pretty easy to have spoiled for you. There's definitely a good bit of tragedy in this show in general. Characters die and it's really sad. Like, this is a plot with stakes and if no one we liked ever died, it wouldn't be the same.

I will say I consider this show to have a happy ending, but you do go through some pain first. Essentially the main couple does have a separation, but there is a reunion before the end. There's also a scene that will give Guardian fans fucking PTSD, but the show does a fix-it on its own, okay? I do feel that I have to warn for that, though.

Where can I watch it?

The show is legally available on Viki with a subscription. Obviously there are other ways to find it as well, and links went around before it was picked up by Viki so check tags if you need those.

I really hope this encourages some people to watch this show, as it's really well made and a great time. It's one of a very small number of danmei adaptations we've gotten, but a lot less people have watched it since it's modern and had a weird release. Honestly, it's well written and acted and filmed and you should give it a shot.

(All gifs by @ruanbaijie, thank you very much for allowing me to use them. Check out their blog, there's such gorgeous stuff there!)

[oneatlatime]

Lake Laogai

This Lake had better have Appa in it. With little water wings on.

Skipping the commentary as usual.

The Previously On section suggests that a whole lot of plot threads are about to crash into each other. Strap in folks.

Lefty Sokka!

Beat up Sokka quota fulfilled by his sister's critique of his art skills. It's not like he had paper to practice with at the South Pole.

Sometimes I forget that Aang is 12, then he does something like attempt to rescue his pet from a nefarious city-wide conspiracy of silence with lost cat posters.

"Good tea is its own reward." That means no, he isn't paid enough.

Remember what I said in my last post about Iroh bringing too much attention to himself?

"senior executive assistant manager" someone on the writing team has worked retail I see. Nothing like meaningless promotions with no raise attached! It's right up there with employee pizza party.

I have to pause here and point something out. This whole scene with Iroh? This is an adult fantasy. I don't mean dirty, I mean this whole scene was put in specifically to appeal to the adults who got roped in to watching this kids' show by their children. A rich man walks through the door of your shitty retail job, immediately spots your natural greatness, and offers you a much better paying job with unlimited creative freedom and a better house to go with it? Find me a burnt out retail worker who hasn't conjured up this fantasy five times a shift.

And so the plots come crashing back together. This won't end badly.

"patience really pays off" I checked. He waited literally three seconds.

Shout out to Toph in the background playing catch with a ball she can't see. Casual flex of epic proportions.

Remind me never to go to Lake Laogai. Sounds like it's lousy with Ju Dees.

So the Ju Dees don't know about each other? Because she seems honestly confused. Does Ju Dee think she's the only Ju Dee? What happens if two Ju Dees run into each other in the street?

Posters are illegal but I haven't heard a peep about recarving a bunch of fields into a zoo.

This is maybe the second time Aang's blown up over Appa. Frankly he deserves more blow ups about the whole situation.

I don't think knocking down walls will help find Appa, but I applaud Toph's spirit.

They took out a whole wall and then exit by the door anyways. That's funny.

I really hate this guy, but I have to admit that he may be the first truly competent villain of the series.

'The Jasmine Dragon' also lets anyone with half a brain know that you're Fire Nation. Try the Jasmine Badgermole instead.

Zuko really can't catch a break, huh? He wasn't happy being a tea server, but at least he was resting. But every time he gets five minutes to himself, the main plot reappears to drag him back into the action, whether he wants to or not. Although he hasn't figured out that he doesn't want to be dragged back yet.

Every line of dialogue in this scene is a good point. Zuko's right, Iroh's right. The Zuko's right again, then Iroh's right again.

YES YES YES GET HIS ASS

That was satisfying!

I'm not understanding why Sokka is the voice of reason here. Is he incapable of holding a grudge? He's the one that had all the animosity with Jet to begin with. Shouldn't it be Aang who wants to hear him out?

Toph is a living lie detector now? I can't think of an example off the top of my head, but I'm sure that could have come in handy previously. Any other incredibly useful skills we should know about?

Jet is oddly defensive for someone who claims to know he did wrong.

Ever get so excited that your spine malfunctions?

Sokka just has a metre long map in his pocket. Good friend to have in a pinch.

Avatar first! Katara is rude to an old person!

I'm going to have fun with Toph's new ability.

Toph, you have never been more right. It is the worst city ever. You are really shining this episode.

I know this is a serious scene, but I need to point out that Jet's guyliner is on point.

This shot is jarringly out of place. I think it's because it both black and white, and live action. Those have to be real clouds.

So the Blue Spirit can talk after all. Careful, your Zuko is showing.

Wow Zuko is good at sewing. And fast too.

Sokka is having far too much fun with this whole 'prompt Jet's memory' thing. Maybe he does have a bit of a grudge after all.

Katara can reverse brainwashing now too? Everyone's levelling up this episode.

This scene with the planks is a very cool and disorienting visual.

Didn't have 'the gaang breaks into a brainwashing facility' on my ATLA bingo card.

Pretty.

OMIGOD IT'S AP- did Zuko just break the fourth wall?

Everyone always forgets to look up.

So this fight is going to be Toph v. all of the Dai Li while everyone else tries not to get in Toph's way.

That's a boat.

Toph could probably take all these guys out faster if she wasn't having to constantly break off to save everyone else from them.

The Dai Li prancing up walls is a really cool visual. It's very Ty Lee of them.

I love watching her work.

Why don't you let Long Feng escape? He's no longer threatening you, and you're down there to rescue Appa. Just let him go.

The security on Lake Laogai is a joke.

Big words from someone who also had no plan whatsoever at the North Pole.

Zuko knows that Iroh's right. He knows, and that's important. I don't think Iroh is saying anything that Zuko hasn't thought and then hurriedly pretended to have never thought about before. It's why he says 'stop it' rather than being completely confused as to what Iroh is referring to.

Poor Appa's like 'can you have a crisis of self after you free me please?'

'You've chosen your own demise." No. You chose it for him. That's some top tier deflection/victim blaming right there.

Longshot can talk!

That's one hell of a set up and pay off re: Toph's lie detecting abilities.

Poor Jet. A double tragedy: to be likeable only when you're brainwashed, and to dedicate your life to wiping out the Fire Nation yet being killed by the Earth Kingdom.

Hi Appa. It's about time buddy.

Shockingly in character for Appa's first actions to be to single handedly save the Gaang from a threat.

You skip that bastard like a stone.

Everyone go and listen to the sound Appa makes when he spits out Long Feng's shoe. It's delightful.

I am framing this.

And this too.

I can tell there's some shmymbolism here, but it's gone right over my head.

Final Thoughts

Appa is back. The Gaang has Appa back. I have Appa back. Ok. I can relax now. With any luck, this means we can leave Ba Sing Se.

This episode felt like City of Walls and Secrets, Part 2. I think it was a good decision to have a couple of episodes between the two, but I think there would be some tonal whiplash if you binged this section of season 2. Which wouldn't have been a problem for a show designed to air once a week, so it's a moot point.

So Zuko freed Appa from his chains, and presumably pointed him in the direction of a door or something. Or maybe not; Appa has a ridiculously hard head, he could have busted his way out. Either way, Zuko broke the chains. Thanks Zuko!

In season 1, Zuko finds the Avatar the world had lost. In season 2, Zuko finds the Sky Bison the Avatar had lost. So in season 3, Zuko will find something Appa has lost. I wonder what that will be?

Jet being killed by the Earth Kingdom is so deliciously ironic, and tragic, yet very in character for the Earth Kingdom's approach to this war. It's also literally this:

Smellerbee and Longshot have really gotten the short end of the stick over and over this season. They were the only ones to decide to stick with Jet. Presumably they were the only ones who believed that he had had a legitimate change of heart. And they were kind of wrong. They get to Ba Sing Se only for Jet to immediately backslide way past even where he was at his worst in Season 1. He completely discounts and dismisses their legitimate concerns for his methods and his overall health. Then Jet gets arrested and disappears for two (?) weeks. So what do they do now? Get jobs? Steal so they don't starve? Then suddenly Jet's back but he doesn't even remember them. Then suddenly Jet's dead. The whole point of coming to Ba Sing Se just died, in a way that shows very clearly that their desire to help with the war is not welcome at all in the city. So what now? Do they leave and try to fight in the war from outside the walls? Do they settle down and try to forget about the war? Things did spiral completely out of Jet's control once the Dai Li got involved, but you have to admit that he's left his only remaining friends up a creek.

Sokka had some good jokes but was oddly ok with this episode's events. Toph had some great lines and got to shine with a new skill that any writer with half a brain will bring back in future episodes. She felt like the audience substitute this episode, which is usually Sokka's role. Toph was episode MVP for sure. Poor Aang took a bit of a back seat this episode. Zuko finally hit the crisis point, and may well have made his first indisputably correct decision of the series. But, as previous episodes have gone out of their way to show me that Zuko being good always goes badly for Zuko, I'm sure freeing Appa will somehow come back to bite him.

Iroh's question of "who are you? And what do you want?" was Zuko's entire character arc this season. He took a shot at answering the "who are you?" portion in Zuko Alone, and sort of halfway got there before messing up at the end of the episode. As for the "what do you want?" Zuko will tell you (often and repeatedly) that he wants his honour back. But I think he just wants to go home. The thing is, I strongly suspect that the home Zuko wants to return to hasn't existed since his mother left, if it ever existed at all. Which means that while "who are you?" has an answer Zuko can work towards, "what do you want?" has an answer that is kind of impossible. So Zuko is going to have to learn to want something new.

RIP Jet. Your life was fucked to Hell long before you were old enough to try and salvage it. You'll probably be missed by more people than you strictly deserve. War sucks, amirite?

[whoistrash]

Why change matters and how Amphibia did it better than The Owl House.

"Watching and Dreaming" made me cry a lot during its premiere. I was amazed and, I'd say, dazed by it. Then I forgot about it for a while. Now I finished re-watching Amphibia for the first time since TOH ended. My hype died down, and I have some thoughts. A lot, actually.

Amphibia's ending was incredibly painful and made me sob like a baby for two whole weeks the first time I watched it. That's because it was not only beautiful and heartbreaking, but truly GOOD. Brilliant, actually. I absolutely agree with a statement that any other ending would literally be a contradiction to the whole main plot, especially Anne's arc. The girls had to learn to let go in order to grow as individuals - the thing they had the biggest problem with. Saying goodbye was the only logical option, plot-wise. It still hurt like hell, though. Separating the multidimensional, against-all-odds relationships (especially my beloved spranne. Ouch, ouch, ouch). The Owl House does no such thing - everybody stays together. They live happily ever after.

Paradoxically, I think that it's the main reason why I'd choose "The Hardest Thing" over "Watching and Dreaming" every single time. I know we shouldn't really compare them in EVERY aspect, since TOH had way more things to deal with in the final episode, but the fact that Luz got to not only stay, but to freely travel between worlds as she pleases really took the whole "growing up and finding your true self no matter what the other people do/say about you" thing out the door. Luz from season one, episode one, and Luz from the finale are not really that different. Well, she certainly became more traumatised and depressed than before, but in terms of personal growth? Nope. Luz - from the very beginning - was cheerful, open, caring and very selfless, willing to literally help every stranger she met no matter how it would affect her. She had little to no boundaries, but, well, you can't argue that she was A GOOD, SELFLESS PERSON. Now, we could say that her arc here would be learning that sometimes you should put yourself before others, that you can't save everyone, that you can't trust every person you meet. And she learns it! She fucking does! She helps Philip not knowing who he will become, and then suffers from the consequences, because she helped the wrong person. And then it's all erased, when she saves Collector's life and meets Papa Titan (or whatever we call them).

I have so much to say about this. All of TOH's "villains" (Amity, Lilith, Hunter, The Collector) that were given a redemption arc literally get turned into lifeless, edgy trauma dumpsters, that suddenly loose all of their previous character, quirks and sass (well, maybe except for Lilith, she just started to express them differently, I think, but still, it was WAY too big of a change). I won't dwell on it (since many, many fans called it out already - as they should), and will focus on something different. The only one marked as irredeemable is Belos. Good. Okay. He's irredeemable, because he's a white, christian puritan who won't listen to anyone but himself. Also a genocidal maniac. That's the lesson for Luz here. "You can't save everyone. Some people are just straight up evil". And it's very, very true. But.

From all of the "villains" I mentioned before, Belos is the one that had the most reasons to, let's say, take a dark turn. Those reasons are what makes him irredeemable - he's just too convinced he's right, because, in his mind, he has evidence to prove it. But how do we learn about this? Maybe by seeing his part of the story? Maybe by learning about his brother and Evelyn, about their relationship? It couldn't be straight up awful, since Philip literally brought his brother back to life over and over again, he wanted his brother, or at least the picture of Caleb that satisfied him the most. There was more to it than only "you betrayed me and now I will hate you forever". Do we get to see any of that? No. Instead we get an all-knowing, all-doing being that literally choose Luz as "the one" for being kind and trusting, that convinces her that Belos is, indeed, a lost cause. Do you see where I'm going with this?

Luz, the person that on the literal episode two was told that there is no such thing as a "chosen one" and that she can't always hop into action to save everybody, because, it's, well, not always possible, DOES EXACTLY THAT in the finale by taking a bullet for The Collector, the, you know, very freshly redeemed and suddenly cute and funky villain, whom Luz trusts immediately. AND SHE IS REWARDED FOR IT BY BEING MADE THE CHOSEN ONE. BY A GOD-LIKE BEING THAT CLAIMS TO BE ALL-KNOWING AND CAN DECIDE WHO IS RIGHT AND WHO IS WRONG, BECAUSE OF PERSONAL (King) REASONS. Just like, you know... Belos? The irredeemable villain? And then Luz lets go of the moral dilemmas that's been keeping her up at night for the past months, makes up her mind, defeats the bad guy, learns nothing, and gets to stay in the Boiling Isles and on Earth. With her beautifully redeemed girlfriend and friends whom she kept secrets from and lied to out of fear of being ostracised (you see the pattern here, right?) for, again, months.

I love Amphibia. I love The Owl House. But Amphibia handles it's "villains", generally wronged characters and the whole change/no change thing way better. Well, maybe besides the Core - they got a bit wasted in my opinion. But still. Sasha. Grime. Marcy. Andrias. Anne herself. They learn and change. And more importantly, they face consequences and come to understand and accept them. There's no "chosen one" here. Anne gets the proposition because she's the first one to use the music box for good in literal millenia. A fact, plain and simple (not an opinion based on personal motivations), that makes sense plot-wise, and adds so, so much to Anne's arc. Because Anne from season one, episode one wouldn't care. The one from the finale cares very damn much. And that's the biggest difference.

Saying goodbye makes the message way stronger. The more I think about it, however, the more I'm starting to be afraid that there's no The Message in The Owl House to begin with. Luz learns very little, yet ends up with everything she ever wanted. There's no power behind it. The "find the right people and choose to trust them, not everyone will be your friend" and "some things are out of your control, some people are just bad" aspect is even weaker, as proven by basically the whole season 3. I will end it by my favorite quote from Amphibia, that I think about on daily basis. Have a good day, y'all.

"Change can be difficult, but it's how we grow. It can be the hardest thing to realize you can't hold on to something forever. Sometimes, you have to let it go; but, of the things you let go, you'd be surprised what makes its way back to you."

[nerd4music]

The thing about the CRM in The Ones Who Live, is that it was never meant to be the main focus, outside of its relation to Rick and Michonne. We're shown more about how it works through Rick's eyes, as a consignee trying to escape what amounts to prison labor, and the setup of the military, that it operates as a separate entity from the Civil Republic. With Rick we see their tech advantages, military strength, and the sheer scope of their reach. In Michonne, we see their destructiveness, with the chlorine gas drop and the murders of her travel companions. We're given so much information about who they are, what they do, and what they're capable of, and how the writing parcels it out is related to how it moves Rick and Michonne's plots.

That's why Jadis is the main antagonist, and not Beale. She is the CRM obstacle Michonne and Rick have to eliminate (and why Pollyanna was the only cast member in the damn credits besides Danai and Andy). She is the one who poses the biggest direct threat to them, their kids, and their friends/home, until Rick finds out what the hell is in the Echelon Briefing, and Michonne learns about the kidnappings and plans to gas Portland, and that's what makes them decide to blow shit up.

I'm not sure what else people wanted to see. Like they were expecting to sit in with Rick on briefings? Because the writing laid out just how bad the CRM was over the course of six damn episodes. One could argue about Beale not being as prominent, but he was impactful enough to the narrative in the time we did see him, that the buildup to the last episode and his Echelon plans revealed feel truly villainous and sinister, and that's why Rick reacts so suddenly. He became a direct and immediate threat, not just to Rick, but to the whole damn world and that's why he's swiftly taken out, because Rick is impulsive and saw the chance. Like props to Terry O'Quinn who looked like he had a blast, but how quickly he was killed was good writing, because it was unexpected, and fixed TWD writers' problem of dragging out their villains. There is a reason we're not immediately shown just how awful the man is, until the last possible moment, when he's revealing his intentions and offering Rick something terrible, leaving Rick no choice but to kill him, as his last act of finally being free from the CRM's control.

And between that, is the persistent theme of fire and burning things to bring something new. It was only ever going to end in a big blaze. The Frontliners were destroyed which is only a small portion of their military. There's still a ton of story left to tell with the CRM and the aftermath, because they're still a threat, considering the sleeper agents all over the world. But the direct tie to Rick and Michonne was wrapped, and the CRM in relation to them served the plot exactly how it was always meant to.

[the1gayteen]

Pink Pony Club Episode-911

Thanks to @speaknowbuckley I gained the motivation to finish this plot idea for what I picture for a queer central episode (Gay club, because its LA and I am desperate for ABC to allow us to see that side of the city!)  for 9-1-1!  (Also im back from vacation yay!)

Title: The Pink Pony Club (Please know that its been a Chappell Summer for me truly) 

Main Plot/Episode Dynamic:  

I see this following a bit after Bucks initial coming out as Bi (I initially had this before he actually was confirmed bi so I saw him coming out alone, but I can still see this with the buck/tommy coming out as well!). Takes place during pride month and Hen is watching as Buck is excited for his first pride month as not and ally™. I see her wanting to take Buck out with her and Karen to the bars to celebrate, and of course Chim and Eddie may have overheard and become jealous to join (letting them all come along for support and just fun). Overall its an episode that explore a lot. Buck feeling scared to feel accepted into the queer community finally, that maybe he isn't queer enough (possibly exploring Bi hatred within the community) (for me bi hatred and eraser is something that I would love to see touched upon especially now with how people have been reacting to bi characters becoming a norm) and scared to head out to the bars. But having a Buck and Hen brother sister scene where she convinces him that he should celebrate and love himself. Eventually planning outfits together. I see buck finally letting go as he walks into the first bar. People dancing around without a care, queens, men, women. Standing on the floor and letting the music mute his racing mind, finally letting himself sway to the music with a content happiness. Hen and Karen smiling proudly as they join in.  

Oh but don't think this whole story is just on Buck and Hen. I love a queer Eddie arch and if I was a writer for ABC this would be the first fucking stone cast for this arch. Eddie walking into that bar initially without any worry. He was an ally and doing this for his best friends, no worries there. Why would he be? He’s straight... right? But why as he's watching buck dance with men does he have this pain in his chest. Or seeing other men dance together with such joy and ease. Why as he sips and chats with a drag queen at the bar does he feel the most like he’s at ease and belongs somewhere than ever before? Why does the episode end with Eddie sneaking off back to the very same bar the next night without the rest of the 118 as a soft melody of pink pony club plays, a smile etching across his face as the lights over cast his face (I NNEEEDDD). 

Oh and Chim, having a fucking blast as per usual with Maddie.  

Songs Used/When they would be used: 

9-1-1's sound track to me at least has always been phenomenal for storytelling and setting the mood. So for an actual pride episode like this I would want some good bangers (I made a playlist that I may post later lol) 

1. If I Had You- Adam Lambert 

2. Pink Pony Club – Chappell Roan  

3. Rush- Troye Sivan (See this as more of a background song) 

4. I Know a Place- MUNA 

5. Its Raining Men- The Weather Girls 

There is more but these are *my* essentials 

Possible Emergencies: 

I would love for the conversation of Buck wanting/starting to look into queer culture and history after coming out to be shown on a call at a drag show/club. The same club that the 1(gay)teen shows up to later in the episode. Something about the dimensions of how certain heels are made for drag performers or how thick costumes (tights, tucks, etc.) can be and how that queen or queens ended up in that situation.  

A pride parade incident? (I wrote a possible scenario where there is one with Take me to Church over it and gods let me be a writer, PS I don't think I'm a good writer at all lol) 

Again thank you for coming to my Ted Talk I will take my exit..

[wellofdean]

This is old news, but I just read it for the first time and really loved it:

Rewatching Supernatural has been an interesting experience. I first watched most of it (from the start of season 2 on) in real time as it aired, and I have to admit that I did not take it very seriously. I gave it no thought whatsoever between episodes, and thought of it as an hour of indulgence in something dumb and pretty: two handsome brothers and their angel who fought monsters and melodrama every week. I never missed an episode and did love it, but I didn't truly engage with it.

It seems, however, that Supernatural worked on me in some kind of subterranean, unconscious way, because when it ended, I found I couldn't let it go. Part of that was the terrible narrative malpractice of its ending, but when I really thought about it, I realised that I also just missed Dean. He had been a weekly visitor for more than a decade, and I just didn't want my time with him to be over. I started watching Supernatural again, and the experience has been really interesting. A lot of things about my perception of it have shifted, and one of the main shifts has been in my apprehension of the serious artistic intelligence, nigh-on unbelievable range, and sheer excellence of Jensen Ackles' performance of Dean.

I keep thinking about what an incredible undertaking Dean is -- a 15-year-long development of one character! About how different the actor who played Dean in episode one is from the actor who played Dean in episode 325. How age, experience, and depth are reflected in both the character and the performance. It is just impossible to watch it and not see that there is an incredible evolution there, and at the same time, a kind of devastating psychological and emotional continuity.

Supernatural is a show that requires you to suspend disbelief and agree to go along with it. It can be silly and schlocky, and it's emotional strokes are often broad ones. It started airing in a time when our society was very different from the way it is now on issues surrounding social justice and inclusion. It isn't 'prestige TV' and it puts on no airs of being anything beyond what it is, but when the whole story is in your mind and you revisit it, and you aren't engaged with taking in plot and anticipating (or desiring) outcomes, you start noticing its subtlety, its themes, motifs and story parallels, the liminal spaces of its setting, the subtler play of emotion in moments without dialogue, and it starts to feel much deeper, more epic and just straight up BETTER than you ever thought it was.

All of that is mirrored in Jensen's performance. He grew into Dean and grew into an artist who could play Dean. He's not afraid of a little schtick, he's very capable of being obvious, but he's even better at the subtleties that allow Dean's inner life to rise up in his face without words. I love how this article positions Jensen's performance as being like that of so many classic film stars, the idea that he used his own essence -- the full range of his psychology, emotions and physicality with skill and intention to achieve what he did with Dean. His long commitment to and investment in the character, and the way he fully embodies Dean because Dean is a character that he built from pieces of himself.

Anyway. I have a lot of respect for his work. I love Dean and think he is magnificent. I hope Jensen Ackles knows how good he is, and is suitably proud of himself, and I am very grateful to hear that by all accounts, Dean is not over for him, because Dean is not over for me.

Sheila O'Malley wrote a few really nice pieces about Jensen's performance as Dean and one about Soldier Boy, and I recommend them. Very much enjoyed.

[extasiswings]

Sorry if I'm too curious, but what you thought about Tim during these years? Because I see so many people wanting him back and then when I see LS comments I'm like🤢

Ah, Tim. Tim, Tim, Tim, Tim.

Tim suffers from what I like to call Mediocre White Man Syndrome. This is a condition that is defined by being a white man in Hollywood who has very little talent on his own, but will get extremely far in the industry by surrounding himself with exponentially more talented and creative writers whose success is then projected onto him by association. But you see, the problem with Mediocre White Man Syndrome is that said mediocre white man has to be put into a position where he can no longer fall back on the work of others to be revealed for his true self. Which is where the OG vs. LS comparison helps.

OG vs. LS is the perfect example of how a showrunner can be an absolutely terrible, talentless hack, but if surrounded by good enough people the end result will still be good enough to mask just how bad the problem is. On OG, Tim was working with a team of excellent writers and storytellers who had the ability to prop him up and smooth the edges of his bad ideas and/or steer him in better directions. On LS, he doesn't have the same cover and the difference is...stark.

But since I don't expect you to just accept this at face value, I have receipts. Subtitled: don't ever trust a bitch who can't write his own shit.

On OG, in the 5 seasons during which he was a showrunner, Tim wrote 8 episodes. Of those, all but one were co-written with at least one other writer (3 were in season 1 and were co-written with both Ryan Murphy AND Brad Falchuk). The only episode for which he has solo writing credit is the S2 finale which, as much as I can admit I love it, has some big pacing issues resulting from the fact that the main plot was started in the previous episode, Tim finished it in the first 20 minutes, and then had to fill dead air for the whole second half. [By comparison, the last episode Tim wrote for OG was 5x1, which he co-wrote with Juan Carlos Coto, and honestly imo you can tell who wrote what parts of the episode just by the stylistic differences and it's...not a good look for Tim (I'll give you a hint, the parts of the episode that truly jumped the shark? Tim)].

On LS, which is currently only 3 episodes into its fourth season, Tim has already written 10 episodes, all co-written, primarily season openers and finales.

Also on LS, Tim has primary creative control. Everything is his idea. No one is there to tell him no. When he says that he thinks that people being happy in relationships is "boring"? No one gets to be happy because he invents random drama for no reason. When he says that Carlos is going to be secretly married despite the fact that it does not match anything from S1 at all? Who cares, it's his world and we are subject to his whims. On OG, despite being showrunner, that wasn't the case. For example, things that were Tim's idea on OG: everything with Taylor (because he has some weird reporter fetish), the blackout arc. He also regularly spoke without planning anything at all and it's clear when you compare the things he said were likely to happen vs. what actually ended up on screen that although he may have signed off, the ideas were not his (hello, the majority of S4 and Eddie's trauma recovery arc in S5). Things that were other people's ideas/responsibilities: the will/guardianship situation, the tsunami arc, Buck Begins, etc.

If you want to dig deeper, on OG, 8/10 of the top 10 episodes (out of 87) were written by just 3 writers: Kristen Reidel (4), Juan Carlos Coto (2), Andrew Meyers (2) [the last two were written by writers who are no longer on the show]. Kristen is now the showrunner, and JCC, Andrew, and Lyndsey Beaulieu (who are also EPs) are clearly the core writing team - strong, stable, and consistent. Now, I have critiques of Kristen: primarily her copaganda (which has to do with personal preference) and her pacing (a more objective critique). But I have the same critiques of Tim (and much more), and at least Kristen has proven that she can write a fucking exceptional story on her own (hello? Fight or Flight? Athena Begins? Kids Today? Awful People?). And when you look at the series overall by the numbers? The top 50 OG eps (again, out of 87) are rated 8/10 or higher (and more than half of those are from writers who make up the core team now, including Kristen). For LS, that's only 15/ 45 (and there's no LS ep rated higher than 8.7). And those discrepancies have to do with the quality of the writing and the storytelling (of which Tim has been doing much more on LS than he did on OG, to LS's detriment).

Anyway, that's my spicy take of the night. The things on OG that were actually Tim's idea (like all the Taylor) were some of my least favorite parts of the show and the core things that I love about the show are things that other people were/are responsible for. And to be perfectly blunt, given his storytelling on LS, I am so happy that he no longer has control over OG (or anything to do with Buddie).

Mediocre White Man Syndrome. A Hollywood Staple.

[otakween]

Digimon Tamers - Episode 40

Woohoo! 40 episodes :D I feel accomplished

This episode was mostly upbeat with some ooky-spooky stuff thrown in there for good measure. This show has a lot of tonal whiplash. I truly have no idea where they're going with this plot, so that's exciting. Compared to Adventure and 02, this is definitely the most unpredictable season. (Well, I know it'll have a happily ever after because its a kid's show lol).

Notes:

Beelzebumon gets zapped by a buncha digimon until he de-digivolves. I interpreted that as him getting attacked on purpose? Maybe? All the bug-like digimon swarming him creeped me out.

Culumon's ultimate (hehe) purpose was to perform "shining evolution" which insta-digivolves all the digimon to ultimate (at least those that have an ultimate form lol). I guess it also just calls out to digimon that are already ultimate too since Jijimon and Babamon show up. (Wait, why didn't it affect the main digimon? Ah well)

I kind of thought the Gods would have wanted to keep Culumon around permanently, but I guess they only needed them to help fight the D-reaper? I thought Culumon had more of an everyday purpose with digivolution...

Kenta's future partner shows up and just loves him instantly for no apparent reason lol. I guess it's just like when a stray cat chooses you. MarineAngemon is a lot tinier than I expected based on the videogames...

It's hard for me to comment on what's going on with Juri because I have no idea. At first it seems like her puppet is possessed and then she goes behind a rock and becomes possessed herself? Is she being controlled by some nefarious digimon? The true big bad? Guess I'll find out! (The puppet suddenly talking on its own was effectively creepy).

Hirokazu assuming Juri was hiding to use the bathroom made me wonder...do the kids feel the urge to go to the bathroom ever? Does it go by the same, weird ~belief~ logic as hunger? If he made that assumption, they must have been going to the bathroom this whole time I guess (somehow lol).

It was kinda cool seeing a bunch of ultimate digimon gather for good (as opposed to an evil army). Hirokazu geeking out over them was a nice touch.

They played the dial up sound! The nostalgiaaaa

Their plan to request help from randos around the world via email would never work nowadays haha. Straight to spam.

The Gods being like "we got this, you can go home now" felt kinda like a unique plot beat for Digimon. Usually the kids and their digimon are the only ones who can save the day, but I guess they don't go by "chosen children" in Tamers. Of course, they'll probably still need to stay and fight...something.

[swordatsunset]

left my phone on the desk and i dont feel like getting up to text u so it comes in the ask box instead but basically i have a larger problem with current d20 in this way of like. ok i think fhsy was an anomaly in terms of the way d20 was done; it was only one play session per week, and there was time to see the (small fandom) response in between episodes and marinate on plot beats and such. the way d20 is done now (and has been for a good while) is that they pump out a ton of it in a short span (the rpdr problem. girl i dont need another season the last one JUST ended) & it has become largely formulaic.

d20 was never truly pushing the boundaries of actual play and has had problems since its conception -- problems that largely were ignored bc they were noobs, the fandom was new, and the collegehumor->dropout transition was new.

when we now get an intrepid heroes season its essentially fan service. as much as i love TUC (tho i have a lot to criticize abt TUC) and the original FH hit a lot of notes for me, there's just simply better actual play out there that isnt swallowing the wotc boot and are filled with new voices who are choosing to be in the space to very little return...

i enjoy dropout. i miss the scripted content a lot, and i enjoy game changer and the occasional um actually. i think falling victim to nostalgia is not always a good thing, and i try to be critical of the ways in which i think of certain media as "the good ol' days".....i think d20 can take a lot of lessons from other actual play media tho. and while i dont hate everything thats come out in the past year from them, i dont love it either, and thats fine. theres a lot of (looks up at the wall of text) WHOA. ok i think you get the point. (this is the point at which i added paragraph breaks)

Hi Sroel!!!! Hmmmm well I dunno while I agree with you on some points I don't feel like this is a d20-wide problem inasmuch as it is a d20 main cast problem; I say that because the non-main cast episodes are much less formulaic since they generally have varying episode lengths/different play systems/different styles of episodes that aren't story-battle. That plus the fact that they're filled with different cast members makes it so that any criticism of those seasons are going to be pretty divorced from my criticism of main cast seasons which are the quote unquote flagship seasons tbh.

And I would say that like, I don't think d20 was ever trying to market itself as revolutionary as much as fans began to approach them that way. The way I remember it is d20 was pitched as comedians telling 'shorter form' actual play stories. Different in the actual play landscape, yes, but not revolutionary imo! My problems w d20/the main cast aren't really affected by their place in the wider, like, actual play landscape since I think there's a pretty big diversity of stories being told in d20 and dropout as a whole. If it was marketing itself as a singular campaign I think things would be different, but the fact that I can pick up and put down different shows makes me feels like criticisms of it should be more specific to specific shows if that makes sense.

I guess most of my problems with d20 are aimed at a different place than yours, which is totally fine! I think my problems come down to a case by case(cast by cast?) basis more than any overarching problems with d20 the 'franchise' since I haven't seen much that's formulaic in the way that main cast d20 sort of 'has' to be. And I do think a lot of that is because of the fans more than anything, as well as the way playing with the same people makes you stagnate!

[variousqueerthings]

This is the most exciting thing that's ever happened to me in my life. The only exciting thing!

Bill! I've been writing with a friend while watching s10 and this friend really doesn't like m*ffat, and I think by s10 all goodwill had run out and they do tend towards the most negative read of every episode, and bill as character generally

and look, bill is introduced with a truly stupid, fatphobic, rambly-in-a-bad-way bit of dialogue. we breathe deeply. we remember that we're here to do a rating and so this will be included in that. but also that there are many many facets of bill's character that are very interesting, fun, and different to anything we've seen since m*ffat took the helm on this show, and that this line -- while fucking... argh... is not repeated. but also just never should have existed to begin with

(also oh gosh, fatphobia as sexism and/or as political... it's really both isn't it, it's going on both, y'all making your first lesbian main character say fatphobic shit, c'mon!)

sexism rank objectification (female character is ogled/harassed/turned into a sex joke by the doctor and/or a lead we’re supposed to root for and/or the camera): 7/10

sexism rank plot-point (lead female character is only there to serve plot, not to have her emotional interiority explored, or given agency to her emotional interiority): 10/10

interesting complex or pointlessly complex (does the complexity serve the narrative or does it just serve to be confusing as a stand-in for smart, this includes visually): 8/10

furthers character and/or lore and/or plot development (broader question that ties into the previous ones, at least two of these, ideally three should be fulfilled): 7/10

companion matters (the companion doesn’t always have to be there, but if the companion is there, can they function without the doctor– and overall per season how often is the companion the focus or POV of the story): 8/10

the doctor is more than just “godlike” (examines the doctor’s flaws and limitations, doesn’t solve a plot by having it revolve entirely around the doctor’s existence): 7/10

doesn’t look down on previous doctor who (by erasing or mocking its importance, by redoing and “bettering” previous beloved plotpoints or characters, etc.): 7/10

isn’t trying to insert hamfisted sexiness (m*ffat famously talked a lot about how dw should be sexier multiple times, he sucks at writing it): 10/10

internal world has consistency (characters have backgrounds, feel rooted in a place with other people, generally feel like they have Lives): 7/10

Politics (how conservative is the story): 7/10

FULL RATING: 78/100 (if I can count….)

m*ffat where was this energy five seasons ago???

OBJECTIFICATION: I knocked a whole three points off just for that "joke" to be honest. this episode is otherwise pretty good at writing its female characters, bill and heather

it's especially as a counterpoint to the paternoster gang, where lesbianism = sexy master/servant powerplay in leather, and look- look I am not averse to that as concept

but written my m*ffat on doctor who? yeurgh

point is, that's not bill and heather

PLOT-POINT: bill is the POV character in a way none of the other companions were in their first episodes (barring amy as a kid, but as an adult, not so much anymore). the doctor is some weirdo but compelling professor at her college, which she works at and secretly goes to classes at, her potential relationship with heather is what sets off the plot and carries it throughout, and is what drives the ending

it's pretty neat on the whole. my friend's main angry point about this episode (well one of them) was that bill was totally unconcerned with what happened with heather/that it should have had a bigger effect on her longrunning and... yehhh I'm not not in agreement but I do think that with doctor who being a bit of a bullshit-science type show in which characters don't die in a number of ways + that I know heather comes back at the end + there's that setup that they'll probably see heather again + the focus on bill's character as being in the closet to her foster mum (foster or adoptive, I've forgotten now) and working in a canteen and just not really knowing where her life is going and all of that wrapped up in meeting heather and that adventure with the doctor... it does work on the whole

it could have been more I do think that, especially heather's character, whom we know basically nothing about other than that she was probably depressed and wanted to travel places, but I think bill's emotions are far more grounded and long-reaching and important to the story than amy's or clara's ever were and this already in episode one

maybe I'm just happy to see something but I do think it's also something done -- for the most part -- quite well

COMPLEXITY: this plot as a mystery is quite fun. bill is just as much figuring out the doctor as she is the mystery of the puzzle. as such, it's kind of a slow-burnish that's not massive in scope, but I think it's rather delightful

CHARACTERS/LORE/PLOT: new companion called bill whom we already know a fair bit about, woman in a puddle, mystery in the cellar, nardole is still there, the doctor is having a bit of an emotional Time (when are they not -- but it's an evolving emotional Time)

COMPANIONS MATTER: bill does a lot in this episode, which is extra great because she's so new. it's a lot of questions, but also a lot of proactive behaviour, and it's also questions that are about bill learning and not about acting as a sounding board for the doctor all the time

“GODLIKE” DOCTOR: the doctor is mainly trying to stay out of things, and then bill drags them into things, and it's a bit about emotions and a bit about becoming a (grand)parental figure to bill, who needs some support, I like that this is the impetus that gets the doctor involved in the story... well, that and can't resist a mystery of course. and boredom. multitudes

also a defining thing the doctor does is go back in time and take some pictures of bill's mum for her. this is simply done out of kindness (and it doesn't hurt that it affects a later plot)

PREVIOUS DOCTOR WHO: I really like the callbacks in this one, it really says some stuff about the doctor-as-character where they currently are -- that is, looking with melancholy at the past. funnily enough, with river and susan on the same desk, it kind of ties river to that past more effectively than the show managed to do during her actual episodes, I feel

also by putting susan there, it says a lot about how the doctor is going to be interacting with bill. a very different kind of dynamic to any we've had before on nu!who

“SEXINESS”: I've put this highly, as I don't remember anything. generally this season I haven't remembered if there's anything (actually no lies, one thing just popped up, but not this episode), so I'll just have to operate on that assumption and... maybe take notes for the latter half. but I think we're relatively free of this anyway, considering a lot of the heteronormativity has been removed from the show at this point

INTERNAL WORLD: there is a university and bill lives with her foster mum because her mother is dead, and she works in the canteen and sneaks into lectures. honestly an old university is the perfect place for the doctor to hide, tenured professors are like cryptids

there's a biiit less on the queer side of things, and there will be throughout the season. this not to say that bill is not definitely a lesbian, in a way where I'd say (controversially perhaps) that clara never felt queer to me

but simply that it doesn't seem like bill's involved much in queer culture, and that culture doesn't affect the plot as such. I'm okay with this, I think there's still a lot to be said for how bill's lesbianism already affects the text for the better, but it is the point and I am doing this particular rating, so it should be said

POLITICS: I mean to strip bill to box-ticking (not in a bad way) for a second, but she's a black, working-class lesbian who's living with a straight, white foster mother, whom she's not out to

and she is the hero of the story. she's funny, she's kind, she sees things, she asks good questions, and she remembers very very well and applies what she learns to the situations she's in. while one might ask whether some of these aspects of her could have been explored more throughout her run, it's fair I think to say that they are explored and are recurring parts of her story and affect how she sees and moves through the world

I also think there's just something about this weird professor type seeing her in turn, singling her out as special, which is such a different way to how m*ffat has written the doctor opposite women since s2, in which only women who are suitably Special in particular ways (through being "well-bred" and "highly educated" and essentially very classist ideas of being from the right background, or by first being introduced as a mystery and then later as a character)

dare I say... he might have learnt something?

which is why, to bring the mood down for a second, her fatphobic ramble feels out of character for who we later learn she is, and just feels more like a throwaway joke on the side of m*ffat to show that... idk actually what it's meant to show. that bill rambles? that she's slightly awkward? and of course m*ffat doesn't know that fatphobia is a thing (I imagine) and so wouldn't have wanted to write it to show that bill has unexamined bigotries (which could be interesting, but not done in this way or with this character or with the themes of this season), especially is we're kiiind of seeing bill flirt with that woman in a later scene?

(I also think this ramble is weird in terms of how it describes the doctor, it's so nonsensical. is it implying the doctor was essentially sexually harassing this unknown woman? this unknown woman that she also objectifies before we even get to the fatphobia???)

I should actually just include it as a reminder to people, because it really does suck: "Okay, so my first day here, in the canteen, I was on chips. There was this girl. Student. Beautiful. Like a model, only with talking and thinking. She looked at you and you perved. Every time, automatic, like physics. Eye contact, perversion. So I gave her extra chips. Every time, extra chips. Like a reward for all the perversion. Every day, got myself on chips, rewarded her. Then finally, finally, she looked at me, like she'd noticed, actually noticed, all the extra chips. Do you know what I realised? She was fat. I'd fatted her. But that's life, innit? Beauty or chips. I like chips. So did she. So that's okay."

I am not negating that this was terribly written and offensive, but I do think it's also at odds with later bill and I don't take it in as part of her character, so much as a massive bit of bad writing on the m*ffat's part, same as, say, when the doctor grabbed jenny and kissed her without her consent, which would be a character-ruiner for me if I decided that that was part of my canon. this isn't quite as bad as that, but it's not a great way to introduce a character that you're meant to root for, and also just... I mean not that there aren't fatphobic lesbians but c'mon, you're showing an ostensibly queer perspective and you're turning her into a bloke????? nah nah nah, fuck right off with that

FULL RATING: 78/100 (if I can count….)

it's frankly wild how far and fast this jumped for the first episode of the season. its main detractor, really is that joke, and perhaps the general limitations in including a queer culture to bill's queer identity, but bill is -- on the whole -- fantastic and immediately shifts the show into a completely different gear

I feel like it's a shame she came here at the end, after a lot of people had dropped off, not just for one season in and of herself, but the final season of this entire era. it's a lot of weight to carry and I think pearl mackie does a fantastic job

[myfairstarlight]

You have truly spoiled me today, gentle author, thank you so much for taking precious time to respond to my ask <3 You have put into words so many thoughts I've been having, jumbling around in my head, and much better than i ever could! I am grateful for you!

I agree with you on all counts, especially Colin's jealousy!! It's rather sad that it had to be relegated to the backburner in order to fit everything else, when them being writers was one of the ways they truly bonded in the book. And that Penelope was old hat and had something to teach him--as an accomplished writer herself-- which paralleled the fact that he could teach her about sexual intimacy, that was nice too.

If I may ramble some in your inbox a little longer, although I admittedly lean more towards enjoying the show than the books (not to say the books aren't also enjoyable, of course, its just a matter of preference), another thing that the books have over the show as a whole, in my humble opinion, is because they are so exclusively focused on their primary couple, we get so much more time and attention on them as both individual characters and a couple--apart, together, in a room full of people, just the two of them, etc.

The shows side plots can be a bit of a double-edged sword in that way. On one hand, it's nice to meet characters and see interactions we didnt have in the books--we got to know Penelope so much earlier as a result, for example, which I liked a lot. But, I feel some show subplots dont always make the most sense or are resolved in such a way that it's kind of like "what was the point?" As a result, we also lose time with our primary love match of the season, literally LOL

Both mediums certainly have their pros and cons, but I guess what I'm getting at overall is I'm so glad we get to have both ha!

Good night and sweet dreams, gentle author, thank you again for your kindness <3

Dearest anon, the pleasure has been mine!

What a lovely message to wake up to, thank you (let's ignore that I'm answering in the afternoon as I type this).

That is the main reason I always try to not compare books and show too much, or you just sign up for disappointment if you only care about the main couple.

I personally like that the show decided to make it an ensemble show, like you said it allowed us to be introduced to Penelope much earlier, and even other characters have already been introduced like Sir Philip who casual viewers won't think much of, but those who read the books get excited as they point to the screen. It allows us to see all the Bridgertons be a family as well, and see them grow and expand, as well as see new relationships the book would never explore (Penelope and Madame Delacroix come to mind, they were a delight this season! Gen is the only woman who understands what it means to have a business and not wanting to let it go, she is the only one who understands Penelope in that regard). Now the downside is that, with only 8 episodes per season, and such a large rooster of characters, there's only so much they can fit without things feeling overwhelming or rushed, and that's an issue all 3 seasons have in my opinion. I do feel like it could be easily fixed by having more episodes per season because it is clear they have a lot to tell, but oh well.

Bridgerton as a show is definitely more of a drama than a truly romance show in my eyes, especially with the way they used Lady Whistledown compared to the books where she did not have as much of a power, and with the addition of Queen Charlotte as a character. S3 challenged that a bit by introducing rom-com elements especially in part 1, but part 2 did show that it thrives with drama and tension as well. But the books are definitely a good addition for those who wish for more content focusing solely on the couples and their struggles. The show is adjacent-enough, but it took a lot of liberties. I suppose it depends on the individual to decide if that is a good or bad thing, personally, I like that it's so different (especially in how it portrays the men, actually, though I would still like to duel Show!Simon), you still get to be surprised, whether you start with the show or the book. I know people have been complaining about the lack of more polin scenes this season, but I fear that is just the standard Bridgerton formula, saphne and kanthony were not spared this issue either, and I fear the other couples will find the same fate. We can still complain though, we definitely did not need so many cuts back to Benedict having a threesome in e8.

Finally dear anon, if you ever wish to continue discussing even more on our mutual love for Colin and Penelope, know that my messages are open <3

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball Super 061

“Who are you?”

“I’m you, but stronger.  Furthermore, I’m substantially more verbose, though you may find this difficult to accept.”

“Indeed, for I have amazed even myself on occasion with my propensity to ramble endlessly on a given topic.  Though my diction flows like clear waters across a mountain stream, woe be to any who seek to quench their thirst for meaningful conversation, for I provide only minimal insight in the magnitude of verbiage I employ.” 

“Yes, I quite agree!  I have often noticed how my own thoughts and feelings seem quite trivial when diluted beneath the deluge of my interminable speech.  Though I begin with a point I wish to make, I continue to belabor it, adding word after word, clause after clause, like a builder stacking bricks upon a great tower reaching up into the heavens.  And yet, though the great temple is unmatched in splendor, the thought which it houses is so minuscule as to require only a tiny fraction of the space.”

“It is a remarkable similarity we share.  Perhaps, it is a good omen.  Yes, for if you are another iteration of myself, and we truly are of one mind in fact rather than spirit, then we both share the same dream of perfect justice for the entire universe.  A world finally freed from the shackles of evil, released from the fuzzy handcuffs of corruption, and loosed from the kinky chastity belt of mortals, who stain the cosmos with a taint so profound it disgusts me to speak of it.  And if our dream is to be fully realized, then what other outcome can there possibly be, save for a universe where only we two remain as its population?  In such a divinely pristine creation, a creation restored to its rightful essence, our tendency to prattle endlessly will not be abnormal at all.  For such holy voices as ours will be the only speech heard throughout the cosmos.”

“This is nice.  I feel like we’re really vibing here.  Do you want to go somewhere and get a coffee?”

“Oh, fuck yeah.  All Gowasu ever let me drink in this stupid place is tea.”

Okay, so we’re fifteen episodes into this stupid saga, and we’re finally going to get the origin story of Goku Black.  I probably need to write a separate thing where I compare the Zamasu Saga to GT, and I think what I need to do is like a side-by-side with the Baby Saga and the Shadow Dragons Saga, because those two arcs are the most similar to Zamasu’s whole storyline.  I couldn’t decide which one would be more appropriate, so maybe a three-way thing to decide which is the worst.  The point I’m getting at here is that no matter how bad and dumb the Omega Shenron fight got, at least he didn’t have a stupid secret identity on top of the rest of it. 

Okay, so let me set the stage here. In Episode 59, Beerus destroyed Zamasu for attempting to assassinate the Supreme Kai of Universe 10.  This action would have led to Zamasu securing Gowasu’s Time Ring, the Super Dragon Balls, and Goku Black.  So Beerus believed that by destroying Zamasu before he could do all of that, then Trunks’ future world would be at peace. 

That hope was shattered in Episode 59, because the next episode preview clearly showed that nothing had changed in Trunks’ world.  And yet we still had to wade through Episode 60 to find out the long way.  Lots of debate over how time travel works, and now we’re in Episode 61, and we’re still going over this shit.  And the good guys will have to go back to tell Beerus he’s wrong, so we’re spending a lot of episodes on this one plot point. 

So up until now, the good guys had believed that Zamasu had used the Super Dragon Balls to create Goku Black as a henchman, but that’s not it at all. Goku Black is Zamasu, having wished to swap bodies with the real Goku. 

So who’s this green asshole who’s been helping him this whole time?  Well, he’s Zamasu too.  Specifically, he’s the Zamasu native to this timeline, just like Future Trunks and Future Mai and Future Yajirobe.  When the “main” Zamasu successfully switched bodies with Goku, he used the Time Ring to travel to this alternate timeline, where he found his counterpart and recruited him for his plan. 

Goku Black knew that this other Zamasu would share his frustrations with mortals, so he found him, killed his version of Gowasu, and explained what he wanted to do.  Overcome with fulfillment, the other Zamasu embraced his alternate self. 

All right, but that only explains how Future Zamasu got in on this bit.  How can Goku Black be the same Zamasu that Beerus destroyed in Episode 59?  Simple, it’s because of the Time Ring.  At least, that’s what Goku Black says.  The way he remembers it, no one was there to stop him the day he killed Gowasu.  So he took the Time Ring, became Goku Black, recruited Future Zamasu, and made him indestructible. 

I pulled up the subtitles for this, just to make sure there was no confusion, because this part has always irritated me.  Beerus spent like an episode and a half insisting that his way would work, and that his divine status overruled the empirical evidence Trunks had witnessed over the years.  So was Beerus just talking out his ass, or did he just overlook a detail?  

The dub implies that the Time Ring protected him from the causality effects of getting destroyed in the past, but that doesn’t add up, because Zamasu wasn’t wearing it when Beerus destroyed him.  But Goku Black is wearing the Ring now, and he has been for the past seventeen years.

I think that’s what the idea is supposed to be.  Beerus’s whole argument was that he went to the Zamasu of a particular timeline, the only timeline where he met Goku and developed his obsession with Goku, and destroyed that Zamasu.  In theory, this should have a “Marty McFly Effect”, erasing Goku Black from existence, no matter what he does in the future or which timeline he goes to.  And because Beerus is a Hakaishin, this doesn’t create any new timelines, like when mortals change the past like Trunks has done. 

Episode 61 seems to be suggesting that Beerus’ plan could have worked, except he didn’t know that the Time Ring protects the wielder from changes in his own history.  I guess that property would make sense, because the Supreme Kai who uses the Time Ring would need a way to be able to observe and interact with future events without potentially creating new timelines.  For example, Zamasu killed that Barbari warrior 1000 years from now.  I’m pretty sure that change in future events isn’t “locked in” or anything, and if someone were to destroy Planet Barbari in the next thousand years, that wouldn’t create a second timeline where Barbari survived so that the one poor dope could get murdered by Zamasu on schedule. 

And I guess it makes sense that Beerus failed to take the Time Ring’s powers into account, since only the Supreme Kai of each universe is authorized to own and use them.  Zamasu never even heard of the Time Rings until recently, and he was supposed to be training to eventually assume the office of Supreme Kai.  It figures that Beerus, a Destroyer, wouldn’t know everything about how the Time Rings work and what they do.  

In short: If Beerus had any influence over the rules of time, it was canceled out by the Time Ring.  And since Beerus only knew to destroy Zamasu because he saw Goku Black wearing a Time Ring, he can’t unring that bell.  There must have been a version of Zamasu who successfully obtained the Ring and became Goku Black.  Beerus cannot undo this.  All he accomplished was to branch the timeline so that in one branch, Zamasu no longer exists. 

In the other branch, Goku Black continued with his plan, as seen in this flashback.  He used the Time Ring to jump ahead one year, gathered the Super Dragon Balls in Age 780, and wished to swap bodies with Goku.

This left Goku trapped in Zamasu’s body, and in this timeline, Goku has never met Zamasu, or even heard of the guy.

Then Goku Black teleported to Earth and killed the Goku of that timeline. 

And he killed Chi-Chi and Goten too.  No surprise there.  After that, he went to the Universe 10 of Future Trunks’ alternate timeline, recruited the Zamasu native to that world, jumped ahead one more year with the Time Ring, and used the Super Dragon Balls a second time to give that Zamasu the indestructible body.

Then they went to the Future Trunks timeline and started carrying out their Project Zero Mortals thing.  First they destroyed the Super Dragon Balls, then they started hunting down all the other gods in the twelve universes.  This would ensure that there would be no one to stop them as they destroyed all other life in the universes.  Wait, how the hell did they kill Jiren?   And Broly?

Finally, the duo saved Earth for last, and they invaded one year before the events seen in Episode 47.  Black says they’ve specifically reserved Earth for the grand finale, because they wanted to make the people there suffer the most out of everyone. 

See, they thought about all this and decided that Earth is the root of all of this.  Specifically, Trunks and his time machine, since his tinkering with history led to the creation of alternate timelines, which is what led to Zamasu being introduced to Goku in Episode 53, which resulted in Zamasu becoming Goku Black and kicking off Project Zero Mortals.  So when you think about it that way, Trunks is responsible for all of this.  If he had left well enough alone, Goku would have died of a heart virus and Zamasu would have never met him.

Actually, that doesn’t quite add up, but this post is running longer than I wanted, so I’ll try to explain what I mean later.

So I think I’ve covered all of the backstory stuff.  Now let’s talk about the fighting in this episode.  It sucks.  Goku, Vegeta, and Trunks got their asses beat the last time they came here, and the only thing that’s changed is that they remembered to bring some senzu beans.  Not that it matters, because the baddies quickly overwhelm Vegeta and Trunks, and corner Goku.  They tell him the bit about how Goku Black killed Chi-Chi and Goten in his origin story, and Black stabs his hand-energy sword through Zamasu and into Goku while they talk about this. 

And that gets Goku all fired up, so he raises his power and starts going on a tear.  Okay, so there’s a difference of opinion on this scene. 

On the one hand, you could say: Hey, cool, Goku’s had all he can stands, and he can’t stands no more, and he’s gonna kick some ass because he loves his wife and kids.  I can’t dispute that.  This is a factually accurate statement. 

However, on the other hand, this scene is dumb as hell, because Goku’s powering up while he’s got an energy beam sticking through his liver.  Remember when Vegeta got stabbed this way and it didn’t kill him, but it kind of took him out of the fight for several minutes?  Then he got up, went Blue, and fired a Final Flash anyway?  Then he passed out until he got a senzu bean later?  Yeah, well, that was really fucking stupid, and now we have Goku doing the same bullshit, only faster.  He doesn’t even wait around for Black to pull out the beam.

Also, what exactly did Goku do to turn the tables here?  He was already in his strongest form, so what has he powered up to?  He’s just Super Saiyan Blue Goku With a Hole In His Liver, and somehow that makes him stronger than he was before, when he didn’t have a hole there.

Like, he’s a house of fire in this scene, and it looks cool, I won’t dispute that.  It’s kind of nice watching him dominate Black and Zamasu like this... except...

Black just suddenly decides it’s time to start winning again, and he turns the tables on Goku without even trying hard.  

So why is this hurting Goku when the gaping hole in his torso didn’t?   Also, is one of those beams going in his dick?  Why doesn’t Goku just power out of this like he did before?  He’s still mad about Chi-Chi and Goten, isn’t he?

See, this is why this saga sucks.  They tried to do this “Power Awakened by Rage” thing like they used to do in DBZ.  Toddler Gohan vs. Raditz, Goku turning Super Saiyan for the first time on Namek, Gohan turning Super Saiyan 2 against Cell.  These are all classic moments, and this episode tries to borrow some of that magic. 

Except it’s all wrong.  Toddler Gohan ran out of gas pretty quickly, but he still hurt Raditz enough for the others to finish him.  They didn’t just have Raditz instantly recover from all the damage that headbutt did to him.  And Super Saiyan 2 Gohan didn’t just start getting his ass kicked when it was convenient to the plot.  He never stopped being angry at Cell, and his power never wavered.  Cell got stronger, but not strong enough to prevent him from getting his just desserts. 

Here, I think the idea is that Goku Black provoked Goku on purpose, then allowed Goku to pummel him a while, because somehow that helps Goku Black get stronger, like he claimed back in Episode 49.  So I guess he was just toying with Goku?  Which kind of makes Goku look like a total geek here.

But the rotten cherry on top of this moldy sundae is Goku screaming at them before he attacks.  “’Cause now I’m mad!  I’m really really mad!” 

Seriously?   That’s what they came up with?  “I’m really really mad!”?

I mean, why stop there?  Why not have Goku shout “I’m really really really mad!”?  It’s pathetic.  I forgot what he said in the subtitles, but I’m pretty sure it was equally unimpressive.

Okay, so after they take out Goku, they move on to Vegeta and Trunks, and that’s when they try to make this out to be all Trunks’ fault.  And this makes Trunks mad.  In fact, it might make him--dare I say it-- really really mad. 

In fact, the way everyone’s reacting, it’s like Trunks has never been this mad before.  He may have surpassed a level of anger beyond really really mad.  Can it be?

Trunks has ascended to becoming really really really really mad!  Like, these guys killed his mom and destroyed his whole world.  They also attacked his girlfriend several times.  But when they said a bunch of dumb stuff about time travel, that’s what pushed Trunks over the edge. 

So the episode ends on this new power-up, so I guess this is the one we’re expected to take seriously, but it’s a little difficult to care when we just saw Goku do the exact same thing and get his ass kicked.  I mean, Trunks’ form looks like something new, sort of?  But even if it were legit, they completely undermined this story beat with the whole Goku thing they did. 

Okay, enough of Episode 61.  Let’s try to push forward.

[daydreamtofiction]

Hello! Firstly, I wanted to say just how much I adore your writing style. There's just something ever so beautiful about the way it flows. And speaking of flow... I wondered if had any tips for making a story flow better, I've so many ideas but I just can't seem to figure out how to put them all together in a coherent way. Thank you!

Firstly, thank you so much.

This is such a good question but it’s one I’m having a really hard time coming up with practical advice for! I’ll try my best, but I’m sorry in advance if this isn’t helpful.

As always, I like to start with the disclaimer that I’m 29, I’ve been writing since I was a child, went to university at 18 for an undergrad in creative writing and got my masters in creative writing at 23. I’ve also had another 6 years since graduating in which I’ve been incredibly privileged to be mentored and supported by some amazing people and organisations in the literary space. So I’ve got a lot of years worth of practice and development under my belt. I’m not saying anyone needs degrees or training or anything to become a good writer, because you don’t, I’m just trying to emphasise how time is truly the best aid for anyone looking to hone their craft. And there’s never a set formula you can follow when it comes to improving your writing.

Funnily enough, I enjoy creating fics so much on this platform because it allows me to be a little more lax with my writing. Some things I’ve published under this alias would never fly with an editor and would probably be torn apart in developmental feedback. I don’t edit and redraft as much as I do with my irl work, I’m not as economical with my words and I try not to overthink things too much. So first and foremost, I’d say go easy on yourself. You write your fics for you, and you write them for free! Fanfic readers, on a whole, consume works that range drastically in author skill level. And for the most part, they will still enjoy and appreciate a fic despite its flaws.

That being said, let me try and actually answer your question lol.

When you say ‘flow’, I’m not sure if you mean the narrative or the actual writing itself. So I’ll give separate advice for both.

The narrative

Some good ways to make a narrative flow better is to think about pace, character and storyline.

Think about a TV show, I’ll use Fleabag season 2 as an example since it’s fresh in my mind from my priest fic. The basic premise is Fleabag meets a priest, fancies him, they hook up, but in the end he chooses God. If that’s all the story was, the show would be an episode long. What makes it so much more compelling is all the little ‘side quests’ she takes, the exploration of herself and other relationships, the time they take to allow that tension to build, little scenes that have no bearing on the main plot but add meat onto the bones of the story.

This helps control the pace; makes it feel more substantial and gives the readers time to bond with your characters and become invested in the story. It also stops you and your readers becoming fatigued by the main plot. Think about your day; you got up, went to school/work/wherever, came home and went to bed. But that wasn’t the extent of your day. You also might have noticed some new freckles while washing your face that morning, had an interesting interaction with a shopkeeper while buying your lunch, you might have found yourself dwelling on something that happened years ago which affected your mood, it might have rained when you weren’t expecting it to. All those little things are what make the journey from A to B truly flow.

So don’t be scared to divert from the main storyline with extra scenes, or create secondary plots that run alongside the main narrative. Not only will it help with the pace, but it will also force you to create more well-rounded characters. A well-rounded character is another great way to make a story flow, because they feel more real and less like a device.

Having lots of ideas and no idea how to make them flow is a problem I think many writers have. My advice for that is to not attempt to squeeze everything into one story just because you’re overwhelmed with a plethora of ideas. I know it can be hard when you’ve thought of a great plot point or scene but you just can’t make it fit, or you can’t figure out where in the story all of your ideas should go. That’s why it’s good to create a rough outline of your story in advance (either mentally or written out), piece together where all of these ideas might go before you start to write your story.

You can keep a note of your ideas in a separate folder/journal/document, that way you won’t feel as compelled to fit everything in one fic, because you’ll have this great selection of ideas you didn’t use that can be utilised in other projects.

If you’re still struggling to make your ideas flow into one coherent narrative, then it could be a sign that the story you’re wanting to write isn’t a fully developed concept yet. It might be worth taking some time to read other books/fics you like, watch tv/films and take note of how they’re structured, even daydreaming about your ideas can be useful, as the more you play them out, the more you may begin to notice how your mind naturally puts them together.

The writing itself

Read 👏 your 👏 work 👏 aloud 👏. It’s easier to detect issues in the flow of your writing when you speak it out loud - if you trip over your sentences, then you can almost guarantee a reader will. Pay attention to where you naturally take pause, that’s usually indicative of a comma being required or a sentence running on too long.

Be mindful of your story reading like ‘and then they did this, then they did that, then they went here’. Not everyone writes in a flowery way, but it should still have texture, some light and shade. Similarly, make sure you’re not repeating yourself. Nothing interrupts the flow of a paragraph like seeing the same words or descriptions over and over again.

Also, I know I said I’m less economical with language here than I am in my real life work. But I still advise trying to lessen unnecessary words/sentences. Give readers credit that they can fill in blanks themselves. Do you need to tell them the character is holding the phone in their left hand specifically, or can you just say they’re holding their phone? Do you really need to describe a characters appearance top to bottom, or can you just pick out a few defining features? Do they need to be described at all? Could you take a sentence like ‘I walked over to the table and picked up the camera, then I turned around and took a picture of the flowers in the vase.’ And turn it into ‘I took the camera off the table and snapped a picture of the flowers.’ It’s only a small difference, but in terms of flow, the key is making it require as little effort as possible to absorb.

I also just realised you could be asking about dialogue, which is its own challenge entirely. But I did give this advice to another person asking how to make dialogue sound more natural.

I really hope this helps! Sorry I went on a bit lmao.